Can A Hit-and Run with Wiper Fluid be called a Drive-By Shooting?

First of All, Happy Three Kings Day. Yep, another one of those crazy traditions that don't add up. Just like Easter, Christ's Resurrection, we hide eggs and eat chocolate bunnies, and Christmas we put up trees in the house and decorate the yard (shouldn't the tree be in the yard and the decorations in the house?)... well, Three Kings day is the day after Jesus was born when the kings arrived... well, if they came 12 days after Christ was born, why was he two years old when they got there? I can understand holidays like Boxing Day (December 26) they make boxes... and Reeses Pieces Peanut Butter Cups Month (November) you eat the Peanut Butter Cups, and Vegan month (also November) you eat vegans, but shouldn't Christmas be about More Christ, and Easter about whatever that means? Whatever, Happy Three Kings Day anyways. It's just like your birthday, no one really cares, all they want is cake.
So Chris, I'm sorry, I was going to do this story pretending to be you... but I couldn't. I sat for awhile and nothing came out right... so this is Chris (a.k.a Davie) posting a story you will all be glad you read.
Chris came to my work earlier today because I'd stolen her pocketbook. See, in marriage, you try and steal stuff from each other but its all shared inventory anyways, you're wasting your time. Husbands, especially don't even think about "stealing" her chocolates or tooth brushes... those things are sacred... and not shared... anything else, is free, but still weird. Anyways, our story happens after she came to work. She calls me, laughing boisterously (is a word, I promise)and tells me this story:
So I was stopped at a light, and I glanced at the ladies car next to me, which had not been left outside and abandoned to the weather and I realized that my windshield was terribly dirtified. So I turned on the wipers and sprayed some liquid onto... the girls car next to me. I laughed because Davie and I had just talked about rigging the wiper fluid to shoot cars next to us, and here mine had. Then, in that split second that i thought all of this, I saw the girl throw her arms up and protect her face from the wiper fluid I had shot at her car. Apparently the windows of her car were so clean she didn't stop to think that the windows were up and she was not going to get wet... hahah, sucker and her clean windows. She's probably the girl they use in the glass cleaner commercials. You know the one that walks into the door and does the funny ouch face. Well, I am so glad I woke up today and got to experience that drive-by soaking.... I wanna try it on someone else now... one of those guys stupid enough to leave their convertible down i the wintertime....

Editors Note: The events in the story are all true. Any additions or subtractions to the original events are added in because Davie wanted to put them there, so lay off the sauce.

Davie's Note to Chris (and anyone else reading this): Also, anyone who is interested (Chris... perhaps) every first day of the month the Downtown Library gives free vouchers to the first comers to tons of nice musicals, ballets, and other events... its thier community service. So we should totally get in on that honey. Also, I just have to say, the Tepanyaki was amazing the secondtime as well, thanks sooooo much babes. You really are the bestest to me. I love you so much.